Painting Black: Not a good year for friendship

Not a good year for friendship

Once there was a friend, he is all honest to you, pouring his disappointments about the fire-breathing dragons pestering his life. He felt helpless and he involves you in his daily grind, in finding a way out of the cursed village. And you did find a solution; he seemed pleased and would like to move to the next village. Promises were made, even curses. At fortnight, you never heard from the friend again. You thought he was just busy packing up so you go and tidied the house where he’ll move in the next day.

The following morning, Hedwig the owl brought a parchment from your friend asking for extension. The landlord being a seasoned businessman asked you what happened, warning you of profits and losses, and telling you why something like this isn’t good for the business. You do not understand what happened so you demand the friend an explanation. The friend seemed enchanted for he did not make any sense to you. He said he has so much going on. He had to shoo away the ginger bread man who comes at night to feast on his ginger garden. Then he had to make an ornate shirt for the king, for there was a village week-long street-party that the royal family will be attending. He has scheduled a search for Hansel and Gretel who were lost in the forest the other day. He promised Rapunzel to help her braid her hair, he had to meet with the seven dwarves for tea every Sunday, and the dragons still pester him, and the list goes on and on and on.

Finally you realized that he never wants to leave the cursed village after all. Exasperated, you asked him if he really intends to leave. The friend never answered the question, instead, he ran far, far away into the woods and never so much as say a word to you again, abandoning you and leaving you out groping in the dark dungeon where the landlord holds office, all the while asking you to explain what happened. Your friend goes off telling half truths to the villagers, making you appear like an imposing witch bitch. Of course, allies come to his rescue for he cannot wager a fight himself, all for the glory of friendship.

The following morning finds you cleaning the messy aftermath of groping in darkness, alone, by yourself. All this, while the friend continues to deal happily with his business, making himself comfortable with the village despite the regular irks he complains about each day, oblivious about how you managed to see the light of day. Aaahh…I bet the Grimms brothers would have loved to hear this bastardized version.

Moral of the story is, until a person learns to be honest to himself, until he learns to respect a promise or a guarantee, until he learns to trust himself and the goodness in other people, he is not a friend to himself and definitely not capable of keeping a friendship. Shorter translation would be, grow a spine and fend for your self.
C said it’s really not a good year for friendship. She is so damn right! But I’d still like to believe otherwise. Yet I can’t discount the fact that only in 2005 have I met people who act like my bratty little 2-year old niece, most of the time, that bratty niece fairs better than these twenty-something/thirty-something adults when it comes to good manners and right conduct. Frustrating.

Friendship, to me, does not need to be complicated. It neither should have any standards nor rules. It is a beautiful thing bound by mutual respect, trust, and honesty. Just these three of the most basic of human acts alone guarantee you a good, fun and lasting friendship – three very simple things that the whole world seems to lack nowadays. Failed friendships happen. I’ve had my share of them. But I take comfort in the fact that I am always the victim. It’s much easier that way; at least I know I remained a true friend until breakup.


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